she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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