It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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