I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just gargled with NyQuil
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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