my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize