is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
