I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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