Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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