WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
