do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
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