So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
