I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Betty ford says i'm here all night
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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