yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
two words...techno handjob
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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