i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
