U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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