just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
