I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize