i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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