I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
