just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
