You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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