STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
