Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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