East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
