For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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