I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
