you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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