Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
