The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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