i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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