it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sext me about skeletons
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
