He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
