Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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