My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
