i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize