I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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