who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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