we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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