shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
