a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
