I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize