Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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