You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
