did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
