Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
