just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
