Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
