His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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