I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Never joke about your clitoris.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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