if i died would you start the facebook group?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
