it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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