Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
