wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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