FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
