He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
