WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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