I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
