Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
