i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
